I remember that once in high school, I was at a new youth group, and someone couldn't remember my name. So, the closest that they came to my name was to call me "Jonah". I remember not liking that because: 1. It's a boy's name. 2. Jonah seems like such a rotten character in the Bible. He doesn't immediately obey God. Then, he's humbled by God, so he obeys. But then, after he preaches repentance to his enemies, he gets really angry when they repent and God does not destroy them as originally told. Jonah literally complains to God by praying,
"O LORD, is not this what I said when I was yet in my country? That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster. 3 Therefore now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live." (Jonah 4:1-3) The guy is so upset by the Ninevites repentance that he wants to die. Do better, Jonah.
A couple of weeks ago, I was reading I Kings 16. In my reading, I had spent some time with Elijah and Ahab. In 16:29-34, the Bible details exactly how evil Ahab was by saying in verse 33 that, he
"did more to provoke the LORD, the God of Israel, to anger than all the kings of Israel who were before him." In the following chapters, we read more of Ahab's detestable acts - how he killed Naboth in order to steal his vineyard, how he loved the worshippers of Baal, and even how he mocked Elijah. Reading those stories in those chapters literally makes you mad... or, at least, it made me mad. Then, in I Kings 21, after an interlude about some other kings, the Bible reminds us of Ahab, the King of Israel by saying in 21:25-26,
"there was none who sold himself to do what was evil in the sight of the LORD like Ahab, whom Jezebel his wife incited. 26He acted very abominably in going after idols, as the Amorites had done, whom the LORD cast out before the people of Israel.)" And, under God's guidance, Elijah goes to Ahab in order to pronounce judgment against Ahab because of his sinfulness. This is the moment that I've been waiting for, the moment where Ahab finally gets slammed for all of his horrible sin. Elijah pronounces judgment on Ahab in I Kings 21:21-24 by saying:
"I have found you, because you [Ahab] have sold yourself to do what is evil in the sight of the LORD. 21Behold, I will bring disaster upon you. I will utterly burn you up, and will cut off from Ahab every male, bond or free, in Israel. 22And I will make your house like the house of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, and like the house of Baasha the son of Ahijah, for the anger to which you have provoked me, and because you have made Israel to sin. 23 And of Jezebel the LORD also said, 'The dogs shall eat Jezebel within the walls of Jezreel.' 24 Anyone belonging to Ahab who dies in the city the dogs shall eat, and anyone of his who dies in the open country the birds of the heavens shall eat."Who-hoo! We can all give a cheer, right? Ahab's going down. God's justice is prevailing. And then, in the midst of rejoicing, I was forced to stop when I came to verses 27-29.
27And when Ahab heard those words, he tore his clothes and put sackcloth on his flesh and fasted and lay in sackcloth and went about dejectedly. 28And the word of the LORD came to Elijah the Tishbite, saying, 29"Have you seen how Ahab has humbled himself before me? Because he has humbled himself before me, I will not bring the disaster in his days; but in his son’s days I will bring the disaster upon his house."Did you catch verse 29? God has promised to show compassion on Ahab by delaying His just judgment on Ahab and his house because Ahab humbled himself
ONE time after already being pronounced twice in Scripture as the most evil man ever to have lived up to that point. Does that blow your mind like it did mine? I was so mad! Here was someone who deserved judgment more than any other man in history up to that point, and God was showing mercy on him?! Are you kidding me?! Call me Jonah...
And then, after a few days of reading and rereading, and being mad, and wrestling with Scripture, it hit me. Ahab, the most evil man in the known world during his time needed God's compassion and mercy. God graciously extended it after one time of repentance. And, I realized, though my actions are not as extreme, my heart is like Ahab's. I was in just as much rebellion against God. I hated Him internally as much as Ahab did outwardly. I was just as much an enemy of God as Ahab was and as worthy of punishment as he was except for the fact that God extended mercy to me just as He did to Ahab. But, God was even more merciful towards me in that He didn't wait until I had a moment of repentance in order to show His compassion, rather:
8but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom. 5:8)Indeed, according to Ephesians 2:, I once was
1) dead in the trespasses and sins 2 in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— 3among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. 4But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, 5even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved— 6and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, 7so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus.
8 not your own doing;
For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is it is the gift of God, 9 not a result of works, so that no one may boast. 10 we are his workmanship,
For created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.And I was forced to realize that I love God's mercy and compassion when it's extended towards me and people that I love. I hate it when it's extended towards people who appear to be rotten through and through. But my heart and the heart of Ahab, the heart of Hitler, the heart of Pol Pot, they are all the same. We all need God's extreme mercy and compassion.
I am thankful that God exposed my heart like Jonah that cried out for judgment rather than compassion. I still have those tendencies in my heart and therefore, this particular sin battle is not over. Yet, I am thankful, that God has lovingly begun to chisel out the Jonah in me and cause me to experience the reality of my name's meaning - someone who is "growing in grace".