Confessions of a non-blogger

I am not a blogger. I'm just not. I love face to face conversations. I love "down time" with people. I feel like every blog that I do has to be life-shattering and big, so, if I don' t have an hour to make my post really good, I choose not to blog about all of the really cool things happening in my life. I also am not super great with technology so I know there are better ways to make the blog look great, but I don't know how to do those things.

So, today, I am choosing to fight the feeling that every blog must have relevant, important information in it, be lengthy, cool, and witty, as well as have appropriate links so people can fully understand what I'm talking about. Tonight though, I am going against all the instincts mentioned previously and instead, I am going to tell you about something fun that has happened semi-recently.

I got my ears pierced. That's right. There are more details to the story than that, but I'm not sure that they add much to the story, and, remember, this post doesn't have to be super-detailed or witty. Enjoy the story through the pictures! (1st picture - excitement prior to piercing, middle - lying down and waiting. Right picture - what, what! My new earrings! I love them. I feel so feminine and pretty with them. Yay for earrings and little things!

Trot, trot, trot to Boston

There's a song that Bernard sings to a little friend of his while bouncing her on his knee. It goes, "Trot, trot to Boston, trot, trot to sea, trot, trot to harbor, trot, trot off my knee!" (as you pretend to make the child fall off your leg). Well, yesterday was the day that Bernard and I made our "trot trot to Boston". It was a make-up day for our snowed-out Christmas celebration on Monday.
We started out by grabbing some Dunkin Donuts coffees for the road after getting some gas. I have to say that after spending the summer in MA, Dunkin Donuts has become one of my favorite coffee chains . . . not necessarily because I think it's one of the best (though I do like it) but because it's a link back to Bernard - even when we're 13 hours apart.

The next part of the trip involved exploring Boston in the midst of the cold. It was super fun to walk around and see different sites as well as to just be outside for a while. The bike on the right is actually a metal piece in the middle of the city... too fun to resist a picture on.
We went to Faneuil Hall for lunch and saw some people ice sculptures in the making. The biggest surprise of the day though was when Bernard took me to the Wang Theater in order to see a "movie". I was convinced that we were really going to see "The Nutcracker" until right before the show and he handed me a playbill for "The Spectacular Christmas Show" put on by the Rockettes. It was a great show with a surprising 12th act when the Rockettes broke-out by telling the Biblical story of Christmas including readings from Luke 2 and Isaiah 9. I have to admit that that was super surprising to me. The Wang Theater itself was absolutely beautiful. It was definitely the most ornate theater I've ever been in. During the intermission, Bernard and I walked down to one of the balconies and just marveled at the intricacies of the theater.





After the show was a carriage ride - pulled by a bicyclist rather than a horse and then dinner in the Prudential Mall. We had a great time together trotting around Boston on our super special, super fun Christmas date.

Good times...

Last week Friday, I think that I had one of the most emotional parent conferences I've ever had in my life. "Abigail" was having a hard time making friends, and she felt "left out" and as though "the world meant nothing to her and they didn't care about her." Throughout the meeting, I prayed for wisdom, and by the end of the meeting, God had given me some amazing ideas - which is really cool, because I'm not a super creative person when it comes to interventions. However, even after the meeting was over, I was so aware that the idea that God gave me to help Abigail was not comprehensive or full proof and because of that, I was acutely aware of the need for God to intervene on Abigail's behalf. Thus, praying began.
This week has been so sweet. Every day, Abigail has played with someone during recess and eaten with someone during lunch (having nothing to do with the plan that we talked about on Friday). Today was the kicker though. Abigail's mom e-mailed me to let me know about an upcoming transportation change for her due to the fact that Abigail is going home with a girl from our class tomorrow. The mom wrote something like, "I don't know if a little birdie has been spreading the word or not, but I'm thankful!" And you know what, I was able to joyfully write back to that mom, "I didn't do any behind the scenes facilitating for Abigail, but I have been praying." Praise God! He's working on behalf of my sweet little one! I'm so thankful that He's so big and that this situation has been so much "out of my hands" from the very beginning that God is the one getting the glory for this - even if this family isn't believers. Yay!

Call me Jonah

I remember that once in high school, I was at a new youth group, and someone couldn't remember my name. So, the closest that they came to my name was to call me "Jonah". I remember not liking that because: 1. It's a boy's name. 2. Jonah seems like such a rotten character in the Bible. He doesn't immediately obey God. Then, he's humbled by God, so he obeys. But then, after he preaches repentance to his enemies, he gets really angry when they repent and God does not destroy them as originally told. Jonah literally complains to God by praying,

"O LORD, is not this what I said when I was yet in my country? That is why I made haste to flee to Tarshish; for I knew that you are a gracious God and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love, and relenting from disaster. ³ Therefore now, O LORD, please take my life from me, for it is better for me to die than to live." (Jonah 4:1-3)

The guy is so upset by the Ninevites repentance that he wants to die. Do better, Jonah.
A couple of weeks ago, I was reading I Kings 16. In my reading, I had spent some time with Elijah and Ahab. In 16:29-34, the Bible details exactly how evil Ahab was by saying in verse 33 that, he "did more to provoke the LORD, the God of Israel, to anger than all the kings of Israel who were before him." In the following chapters, we read more of Ahab's detestable acts - how he killed Naboth in order to steal his vineyard, how he loved the worshippers of Baal, and even how he mocked Elijah. Reading those stories in those chapters literally makes you mad... or, at least, it made me mad. Then, in I Kings 21, after an interlude about some other kings, the Bible reminds us of Ahab, the King of Israel by saying in 21:25-26,

"there was none who sold himself to do what was evil in the sight of the LORD like Ahab, whom Jezebel his wife incited. ²⁶He acted very abominably in going after idols, as the Amorites had done, whom the LORD cast out before the people of Israel.)"

And, under God's guidance, Elijah goes to Ahab in order to pronounce judgment against Ahab because of his sinfulness. This is the moment that I've been waiting for, the moment where Ahab finally gets slammed for all of his horrible sin. Elijah pronounces judgment on Ahab in I Kings 21:21-24 by saying:

"I have found you, because you [Ahab] have sold yourself to do what is evil in the sight of the LORD. ²¹Behold, I will bring disaster upon you. I will utterly burn you up, and will cut off from Ahab every male, bond or free, in Israel. ²²And I will make your house like the house of Jeroboam the son of Nebat, and like the house of Baasha the son of Ahijah, for the anger to which you have provoked me, and because you have made Israel to sin. ²³ And of Jezebel the LORD also said, 'The dogs shall eat Jezebel within the walls of Jezreel.' ²⁴ Anyone belonging to Ahab who dies in the city the dogs shall eat, and anyone of his who dies in the open country the birds of the heavens shall eat."

Who-hoo! We can all give a cheer, right? Ahab's going down. God's justice is prevailing. And then, in the midst of rejoicing, I was forced to stop when I came to verses 27-29.

²⁷And when Ahab heard those words, he tore his clothes and put sackcloth on his flesh and fasted and lay in sackcloth and went about dejectedly. ²⁸And the word of the LORD came to Elijah the Tishbite, saying, ²⁹"Have you seen how Ahab has humbled himself before me? Because he has humbled himself before me, I will not bring the disaster in his days; but in his son’s days I will bring the disaster upon his house."

Did you catch verse 29? God has promised to show compassion on Ahab by delaying His just judgment on Ahab and his house because Ahab humbled himself ONE time after already being pronounced twice in Scripture as the most evil man ever to have lived up to that point. Does that blow your mind like it did mine? I was so mad! Here was someone who deserved judgment more than any other man in history up to that point, and God was showing mercy on him?! Are you kidding me?! Call me Jonah...
And then, after a few days of reading and rereading, and being mad, and wrestling with Scripture, it hit me. Ahab, the most evil man in the known world during his time needed God's compassion and mercy. God graciously extended it after one time of repentance. And, I realized, though my actions are not as extreme, my heart is like Ahab's. I was in just as much rebellion against God. I hated Him internally as much as Ahab did outwardly. I was just as much an enemy of God as Ahab was and as worthy of punishment as he was except for the fact that God extended mercy to me just as He did to Ahab. But, God was even more merciful towards me in that He didn't wait until I had a moment of repentance in order to show His compassion, rather:

⁸but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (Rom. 5:8)

^{Indeed, according to Ephesians 2:, I once was}

1) dead in the trespasses and sins ² in which you once walked, following the course of this world, following the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that is now at work in the sons of disobedience— ³among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of the body and the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind. ⁴But God, being rich in mercy, because of the great love with which he loved us, ⁵even when we were dead in our trespasses, made us alive together with Christ- by grace you have been saved— ⁶and raised us up with him and seated us with him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, ⁷so that in the coming ages he might show the immeasurable riches of his grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. ⁸ not your own doing;For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is it is the gift of God, ⁹ not a result of works, so that no one may boast. ¹⁰ we are his workmanship,For created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

And I was forced to realize that I love God's mercy and compassion when it's extended towards me and people that I love. I hate it when it's extended towards people who appear to be rotten through and through. But my heart and the heart of Ahab, the heart of Hitler, the heart of Pol Pot, they are all the same. We all need God's extreme mercy and compassion.
I am thankful that God exposed my heart like Jonah that cried out for judgment rather than compassion. I still have those tendencies in my heart and therefore, this particular sin battle is not over. Yet, I am thankful, that God has lovingly begun to chisel out the Jonah in me and cause me to experience the reality of my name's meaning - someone who is "growing in grace".

Special People

I love how in my experiences of traveling to different places in the world, I always meet people, and think, "Wow... how have I gone this long without knowing this person?" Coming to Massachusetts for several weeks was no exception to that experience. Let me introduce you to them and their families in the order that I've met them.
The three guys to the right are a mere sampling of the Doherty clan. This was a family that I knew remotely through their son, Sean, who I go to church with in Raleigh. They were the first family that I met in Mass. last summer, and Bernard claims them as his "American family". The Doherty's are the type of family who strive to be aware of and sensitive to where people are emotionally and then help as needed for as long as needed. They give generously of their time, possessions, and food so that people may have a good place to rest and recharge. I honestly don't think that I've ever been at their house for a day without someone who's technically not family coming over to eat with them. And that's just it, their view of family is so large and encompassing that people feel immediately loved and welcomed by them. They're the family who are letting me borrow their car this summer - the nicest car that they own which also has the lowest mileage. They give the best hugs, laugh til they get wheezy, and seek to love others as unconditionally as Jesus would. These guys are so special that it's hard to put it into words. I'm so thankful to be a part of their lives and that they're a part of mine.

I met this family a couple of days after the Doherty's in August of 2009. Throughout my relationship with Bernard, any time that I came to Worcester in order to visit, they're the family who adopted me. They would convert their study, which was used daily, into a bedroom for me - thus forcing Pradeep to take his studies into the downstairs family room. Pradeep and Sunita are from India and have really cool accents and habits because of the location of their upbringings. Their two girls are Kathy - a responsible, imaginative 8 year old and Judith - who's finally warmed up to me just in time for me to leave and lose it all.;) I love this family so much! I love how they have tea time and that Sunita doesn't get flustered by details. I love how Pradeep is super disciplined in his studies in order to be a more usable vessel and Sunita gladly shoulders the extra responsibilities that occur because of his studies. I love how this family loves spending time together and will incorporate anyone into the family activities who might enjoy the fun or would benefit from the encouragement. I love the traditional Indian food and the coffee. (I learned to love coffee from Sunita.) I love how they consistently have people into their home and aren't afraid of mixing groups of people who may not normally combine. I love how joyful they are in their service, and I love watching them love other people well. Every time I spend time with them, I leave their house feeling encouraged and refreshed.
For starters, let me explain the picture that I have of Janet and Steve. I asked them last Sunday if I could get a picture of them together and for one reason or another, it just didn't happen. Then, Steve went out of town for a couple of days. The result is that I took a picture of this framed picture that Steve has on his desk. This couple is the couple who have welcomed me into their home this summer even though we probably had one conversation lasting about a minute prior to my coming in June. The reason that they were willing to take me in? They wanted to be supportive of Bernard and take the opportunity to serve him well since they go to church together. Janet and Steve are both very laid back people who have given me freedom to plan my day in the way that sounds best and gives me the most time with Bernard. But it's obvious to me that despite being pretty laid back about most things, they do feel at least partially responsible for my well-being as evidenced by the fact that Steve waited up one night when I came home later than expected because I had lost track of time. They've served Bernard and myself quietly by sharing their home, food, and company these past six weeks without expecting anything in return.
This last family I met through work. Jen (on the right) was my co-teacher as well as the lead teacher at my site this summer. She and her family took me in by having me over to their house for "planning" (which really turned into watching The World Cup and eating NE grinders) and then taking me to Jen's parents' house on a different day for "planning" (which really turned into eating NE grinders - love those things - and talking about our families). Jen would recommend local hang out spots, bring in local cuisine for me that I "just had to have while I was in MA", and share stories from her life. Jen was someone who consistently went above and beyond in her position, handled a lot of stressful situations in stride, and was continually thinking of what was best for the students. She always did what she said she would do, and she reminded me that when you're teaching, you really have to look at the people you're teaching and not just curriculum. Though, she modeled what it meant to truly have a healthy balance between those two things. I honestly believe that this next year of teaching third grade will look different (in a positive way) because I got to work so closely with Jen this summer.
So, as this summer comes to a close and I begin to think about going back to NC on Saturday, starting to teach again, and even what kind of activities I will choose to be a part of this next year, I can't but help take pieces of these people with me. Indeed, my life has been touched by their lives, and they have all left me slightly changed. I'm thankful.

Waiting....

Dear Friends,
To those of you who actually read my blog - THANK YOU! I can't tell you how special that is. And, so, it is for you that I am writing this brief post. I did not update this past Thursday because I didn't have the pictures that I thought would prove to be most helpful in supporting my ideas that I wanted to write. I am still working on acquiring those pictures and it could possibly be another week. So... if you check back in 1.5 weeks, there should be something to read. Thanks for being patient!

Joanna

Things I've learned...

The other day, I spent some time thinking about the different things that I enjoy about New England. I love how it's cooler here than it is in NC. (Even though, technically, it is regularly in the 90's.) I love how neighborhoods keep trees and the houses don't look identical to each other. I love the windy roads, the thick foliage, the stone walls, and the hydrangeas in 4/5 out yards. I love that there are Dunkin Donuts approximately every 3 miles. And, I love the hospitality that I've been shown throughout my time here - from people I've just met through work and church to people I've known for almost a year now. But the thing that I love the most about New England, particularly Massachusetts, is that this is where Bernard is. It's been so amazing to get to spend time with him on a daily basis and to learn more about him and our relationship. Here are some things that I've learned.

1. I've learned that Bernard likes background noise when he's trying to concentrate on things. If there isn't already background noise, he likes to create it by drumming his fingers in a really snazzy beat or hitting his legs. He also paces when he's really trying to think.
2. I've learned that Bernard really thinks it's important to open and close my car door. I've adjusted to this one quickly.;)
3. I've learned that in short distances, I can outrace Bernard but in long distances, he has me beat by several strides.
4. I've learned that Bernard is absolutely defenseless once he starts laughing, which could account for the reason why I have a winning thumb war record against him that currently stands at 9/10!
5. I've learned that Bernard is almost always right about the usage of any "big" word or phrase that we're arguing about (onomatopoetic and "Don't be a patsy" just to name a few), but that I'm the champion of common vocabulary like "guinea pig".
6. I've learned that if Bernard could do any job in the world, he would work with sustainable energy because he loves the idea of working with something that lasts.
7. I've learned that Bernard is extremely patient in conversation and will work through misunderstandings in order to understand what I'm trying to say - even if the conversation is about cookie dough.
8. I've learned that Bernard likes to be reminded about things just so that he's sure he's not forgetting something important or something that he said he would do.
9. I've learned that growing up, Bernard would spend hours looking at the clouds and trying to figure out what animal shapes they were in and exactly what action that animal was doing. I've also learned that he still enjoys doing this.
10. I've learned that Bernard knows more about the US Government, its current officials, and current local and world events than I do. This could be because his favorite radio station is NPR.
11. I've learned that Bernard typically drinks a glass of juice for breakfast instead of eating anything.
12. I've learned that he likes kit kats on his ice cream, but that he's also willing to let me order a vanilla cup with hot fudge and heath bar on it for us to share.
13. I've learned he doesn't have the best sense of direction when it comes to new places, but he can remember the address for a place that he's visited twice.
14. I've learned that Bernard likes to play the piano and will spend hours trying to figure out the different hands for a particular hymn that he really wants to learn how to play.
15. I've learned that Bernard turns the radio off when I'm in the car and start talking. (Well, that is if it's talk radio and not music.;))

So, yeah, those are a few things that I've learned. There are more, and, hopefully, there will continue to be lots more, but those are all I'll list for now. It's just been so fun to be around Bernard enough to get to know him better and learn "little" things about him as well as to be on the receiving end in that Bernard also wants to know the little things about me. Oh, the beauty of not being long distance!